What the !?#@ Wednesday, Week 5

Welcome to week #5 of the What the !?#@ Wednesdays series.  For 6 Wednesdays I will be posting a summary of the things that made me think (or say)..."What the !?#@" during the past week. Have you missed any What the !?#@ Wednesdays?  See week 1, week 2, week 3, week 4. 


Why the !?#@ does bread and butter taste so good of the week.

I bought bread thinking we could eat it all week.  I'll tell you how it actually went


Shannon (I'm visiting my cousin again, more on this later) and I said we were going to eat healthy throughout the week.  It's Tuesday.  We've done well.  Except for that gigantic loaf of bread and stick of butter I ate.  Well, technically I didn't eat all of it...I gave her a few pieces...but um...yeah...it was literally a few pieces...


This was a big !?#@ing  hunk of bread.  Trust me.


So, I went out to run some errands and when I came back, Shannon was asleep and the sun was out and I had a sun dress on and the cats were asleep and I sat outside.  About 3.38 minutes later, I decided it was a perfect time for a vodka tonic.  2 glasses later and the sun beating down on me...bread and butter sounded soooooo delicious.


So I had a piece.


And another piece.


And then...the rest.


Moving on....


What the !?#@ is this of the week: Belly Cast


I'm sorry, I cannot post this picture because if I look at it one more time I will throw up.  A belly cast kit, really?  I've heard of boob casting (weird enough), but celebs sell their castings to raise money for breast cancer.  Fine. Cool.  Good cause and all.  Whatever.  But BELLY CASTING TO KEEP AS A MEMORY.  That gets a big "!?@# THAT!!!" from me.  Big time.


And I'm not even sorry if you are reading this right now and next to you is your very own belly cast of your little $#!^head kid.  It's gross, it's weird, and no one wants to see that $#!^.  Just don't do it.


!?#@.  Ugh.


What the !?#@ TSA Pat Down of the week:

Heading back to California, I went through an airport with my cat Sammy.

It's a good thing I left early.  She had never been on a plane before and I had never flown with an animal.  This was an experience.  

So, when you fly with an animal, the TSA makes you remove the animal from the carrier, send the carrier through the x-ray machine, and you are required to carry your animal through the metal detector.  After going through the metal detector, they require you to have your hands wiped with these little paper discs that are inserted into a computer where it scans the discs for explosive residue.

I carry Sammy through the metal detector, all is good.  They wipe my hands, scan them, and an alarm goes off.  I'm still holding the cat when they pull me aside.  All my belongings are still going down the conveyor belt getting jammed up with everyone else's stuff.  Then some other TSA dude grabs my stuff not knowing who it belongs to.  I'm too far away to grab his attention, so I try flagging someone else down.  Meanwhile people are all over my stuff trying to get at their shoes and bags and whatnot.  

So much for "don't leave your bags", huh TSA?

Anyway, someone finally brings my stuff to me, and asks me to follow them...

...Huh???

We head down a long hallway (I'm holding the cat) that seems abandoned (creepy), and I'm led into this area that has a floor to ceiling curtain.  

Um....What's going on?

They tell me that it's procedure to do a much more thorough pat down of people who's hand scan sets off an alarm.  

I'm still thinking....all this privacy, down a long hall, just for a pat down?  I get to leave my cloths on, right?

They thoroughly scan all of Sammy's crate and I get to put her back in it.  The TSA employees are very friendly and even apologetic (which I don't believe they should be since they are just doing their job, right?).  So they explain exactly how they are going to touch me and where (wow).  Then I stand, with my arms and legs apart (woah...don't worry, this isn't gonna get all '50 Shades' on you) while an older woman runs her hands thoroughly over EVERY part of my body.  Twice.  She has to go in 2 separate directions.  Then she feels each seam in my pants, and runs her fingers IN the top of my pants.  Okay...so she only went 'belt width' deep, but weird, right???

Pat down done.

Next was to scan my belongings.  Going over to a table and computer, they removed all the items out of my carryon.  It's a good thing I pack my cloths in ziplocs, otherwise it would have been pretty annoying to repack.  They wiped down my luggage (and scanned the wipe), then took my cell phone and kindle and scanned/wiped them individually.  I was then told I could put everything back and be on my way.  They thanked me for my patience and told me that sometimes, if you have lotion on your hands, that the initial hand wipe/scanner explosive detector will go off.  Really?  Wow.

It was an interesting experience, and to be honest, I think the TSA made a bigger deal of it than it was.  Sure, it's annoying, but it's a pat down, not a strip search.  I don't think it's necessary to lead someone down a hall and behind a curtain for a pat down.  I don't mind my stuff being searched.  It's procedure, and I'm the one choosing to fly commercially...I'm not gonna argue with them.  

Morals of the story:

1. Get to the airport early.
2. Wash your hands.

What was your What the !?@# of the week???

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